You know?

The one rushing through questions nobody is interested in, in the first place, just to get to the point where you leave the bar together.

Except, you can clearly see through it. And that’s why it feels gross.

Or like a ridiculous waste of time if, after all, you would not mind being asked out.

But what’s this got to do with marketing?

What makes marketing feel gross – like some dates – is not having an “agenda” (getting the sale), but trying to hide it.

WHEN HATING MARKETING IS INEVITABLE

What’s even worse, is that we don’t realise how this approach makes marketing feel gross not only for our clients… but also for ourselves.

Marketing with a hidden agenda is that feeling you get when you tell a lead “I only have two spaces left, make sure you don’t miss out” when the only appointment in your diary is your best friend’s birthday.

Is that “I hate writing” you feel in your core, when writing for marketing is reduced to “what can I write that’s gonna get me likes and enquiries right away so I don’t feel totally invisible?”.

At the core of this, there is the idea that being good means convincing people. Means getting them to say yes.

Yes, book me in. I don’t really know if you are the right one but I don’t want to miss out.

Yes, I’ll buy wall art. That new phone. That car. That course. I’ll regret it, but there we go – you have convinced me.

And it makes sense, because “yes” feels good. It feels like a win. It feels like money.

“No”, on the other hand, feels like… rejection. 

A GOOD FIT? 

Here’s the thing.

In business, same as in your personal life, going out with the wrong person has consequences. 

If you are lucky, you’ll only end up hating your dinner and how uncomfortable, even awkward, the evening felt.

But even if that’s not the case, rest assured you’ll regret that yes. Maybe even months down the line.

Maybe, you won’t even be aware of the consequences. 

A bad review (for your studio, that is), or simply a bunch of clients who “would not really recommend” you.

So what if marketing was not about getting people to say yes, but about making it easy for people to decide whether we are a “yes” or a “no” to them? 

What if marketing was not about finding our ideal client, but about making sure who we are is so clear that it’s easy for them to recognise us? (More on the relation between “who you are” and your brand here).

FILTERING vs CONVERTING

Ok, but that’s just theory – how do we put all of this into practice?

Let’s start with a simple excercise: let’s write something that will resonate with your ideal client, and repel your “nightmare” client

STEP 1 – YOUR “HELL NO”

Think about enquiries and questions you have received in the last few months.

Think about those that raise all of your alarm bells.

Could be people sending you a one line email that looks like “hi i’m interested in a baby session can you give me prices tx”. You know the one.

Could be someone sending you 30 images of babies in props, asking if you can do the same, when not a trace of a prop can be found on your pages.

Or maybe, simply, you don’t want to deal with any more “oh we are just looking for a few digitals”. To the point where reading that sentence would make you go “I’m fully booked”.

Choose one of these alarm-bell-raising questions and write it down.

STEP 2 – THE MUST-HAVES

Now think about something that for you is a non-negotiable, something that must be true for a client to be a good fit.

Could be… liking deep, rich colours.

Or liking posed images because you don’t do lifestyle.

Again, choose one non-negotiable and write it down.

STEP 3 – LET’S WRITE

Now, the easy part.

  1. Take your “must-have” and turn it into a sentence that sounds like: If you love [must have] you will love a session with me.

For example: 

If you love a rich, deep colour over any “baby pink”, you will love a session at [studio name].

If you love the idea of natural, unposed images of your newborn baby, a session with me is exactly what you are looking for.

  1. Take your “hell no” and list it in a “we might not be a good fit if” sentence.

For example: 

If you are only looking for a couple of digital images, we might not be a good fit. Although there is no obligation to purchase when you come for your viewing appointment, from the moment you enquire we will work to create a stunning gallery of minimum 20 images of your baby and most of my packages offer the best savings when you buy all of them.

STEP 4 – PRACTICE!

Use these sentences on your homepage or first reply to an enquiry.

FEELING SCARED?

If you have followed me until here, you probably felt good about the “if you love” sentence.

And terrified by the “hell no” one, because that will make people say no.

And “no” means losing a sale.

No means rejection.

But in the end, it all comes down to this: creating a business we love and that feels beautiful requires awareness of who we are, and what we want, and the courage of leaving behind whatever is not gonna get there.


Hi, I am Giulia (weird, uh? It sounds like Julia – but it’s written with a “Gi”) and I am the founder of Grow Your Photography Studio.

I am known for my no-BS, hands-on approach to helping newborn photographers get more clients and grow a business they actually enjoy running. I believe marketing should not be a “necessary evil” and that taking action is the first and most fundamental step toward success.

Feeling on the brink of burnout? Read our guide “Photographers on the brink of burnout

Thinking about our Marketing Mentoring programme? Read this first

For some of us, the idea of having phone calls with leads can be anxiety-inducing, and even if you have been doing it for a while you could still wonder whether you are “doing it right”.

There are two common traps we have the tendency to fall into:

1- We feel that the goal of the call is to convince our potential client of something: book the session, buy wall art, etc;

And

2 -As a result of the above, we often overwhelm with words the person on the other end of the phone.

If any of this sounds a bit like you, there are 3 steps you can take to immediately improve your approach, and these take us back to the idea that growing a business means building relationships (more on this HERE).

LEARN MORE ABOUT THE PERSON ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PHONE

Before asking about the colour of their nursery, how they want to display their images, spaces for wall art, try to answer this question: “What is more important to your prospect when buying what you sell?”.

Knowing what is important to them will help you understand what to focus your conversation on, and also establish whether they are a good fit (see below).

Let me clarify with an example.

Baby’s mum and dad are both originally from France. Their families and friends, including baby’s grandparents, uncles, aunts, etc are all there.

This might even be the biggest motivation for booking a session: to have photographs they can share with their family and friends abroad to feel closer to them.

Now imagine you spending most of your phone call talking about wall art for their home, while your competitor (having discovered what’s important to the client) chose to focus on extras like additional personalised USBs they could send home, digital slideshows or even albums and other products delivered to the grandparents. 

Who do you think they would instantly love?

Who would make them more excited?

And who do you think would be more likely to get not only the booking, but a bigger sale in the end?

Now, the easiest way to understand what is important to your leads is to simply ask them.

“Over the years I have learned that parents have different ways of thinking about their session, some envision beautiful wall art they can show to family and friends, some are doing it to create memories for the baby and so on… can you tell me more about what is important to you?”

Of course, you don’t need to use these exact words. Make it yours, and you will see how easy it is to connect with your people once you have the answer, as opposed to trying to sell your clients something without knowing exactly what they are looking for.

ESTABLISH WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE A GOOD FIT

Going back to our previous example, you might be thinking “Well I don’t want to sell digitals, so they would not be my ideal client anyway”.

Great, it would be even more important for you to discover that information and let the client know that you might not be the right person for them.
If you have ever worked with someone that really was not your client, you’ll understand how important this is.

SET BOUNDARIES AND CLARIFY WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

We all hate chasing clients, and clients hate being chased. 

Before ending the call, define exactly what is going to happen. Here are a couple of scenarios you might find useful:

  1. “I’ll speak to my partner and let you know”

    “That’s perfect, I will email you now and then try to call you next Tuesday. 

    Can I please ask you to email me back, should you decide not to go ahead? I want to ensure I don’t keep trying to contact you again if you are not interested”
  1. If the baby has already arrived and you have a very limited time to get the family in the studio.

    “Ok, if Wednesday 10:30am works for you I will hold the date for 48 hours to give us time to get you booked in.

    I am about to email you a recap of what we have discussed, so you have all the info in writing. I will also send you a second email with the contract, and invoice for your deposit/session fee.

    Should I not hear from you within 48 hours I will only contact you once again to let you know I am closing your enquiry and cancelling your reservation.”

When I first started in business I had a 6-page script to follow for my calls. A perfectly designed tool for sales.

And I hated it.

Fast forward to today, I can unequivocally say that the non-scripted approach I have taken after using my perfect script less than 5 times has been an irreplaceable tool to learn who my clients are, what motivates them, what language they use and – ultimately – to make selling a genuine and easy process.

Nearly every form of marketing and sales technique we see today is invasive and breeds distrust – despite most of us being instantly repelled by the slightest hint of pressure.

So if you have ever thought to yourself “I hate selling, I am not good at it!”… I am glad you did, it means you are still connected with that part of you that knows your relationship with your clients is the most important thing you have and that you can’t force a relationship to happen or people to enter it.

Thinking that most of what you do when promoting myself, answering enquiries and talking to leads is laying the foundation for genuine relationships – and not trying to deceive, force and push people – should immediately make you feel better about this whole “marketing thing”.

There are 3 essential elements to a relationship-oriented marketing:

TRANSPARENCY & CLARITY

This goes far beyond having prices available on your website, it is about making it completely safe for people to approach you.

We do this by:

  • Thinking of our business as our space, and making sure people feel welcome and respected when they enter it
  • When we are the ones entering our clients’ space (with an email, for example) doing so in a careful and respectful way, as opposed to making it feel like an invasion
  • Allowing our true intentions to be clearly seen. Be genuine when giving, be confident when asking (whether that is a fee, commitment, contact details, etc.

TRUST

Practising the above should put us on the right track for building trust, but trust also comes from respecting our clients’ need for time.

EXCITEMENT

I invite you to read our definition of brand HERE.

Being authentic with your marketing will have two effects:

  • Our people, those we define “ideal clients”, will be excited to work with us because who we are resonates with who they are. They will WANT to work with us.
  • It will make it clearer for those who aren’t our ideal clients to see that we are not who they are looking for.

In very simple terms, getting clients means building relationships. How we choose to do it determines now only how our business feels to us, but also how likely we are to be successful in the long term.

When we choose to create solid relationships with our people, based on transparency, trust and excitement, our clients will love working with us and tell the world about it. 

Or we can decide we don’t have time for that, and we would rather bet on our ability to take complete strangers and consistently, repeatedly, get them to give us their money.

The choice is yours, what will you choose?